Two years ago, we were driving our old car when a metal bolt flew off of the truck in front of us and hit us squarely on our windshield. The tiny little mark it made slowly cracked out, but it was an old crappy car and we weren't willing to replace the windshield.

Later that year it was due for new license plates. We went to get it inspected, but it wouldn't pass because of that stupid windshield. At this point we were already carpooling to work and back in our new car to save money and gas, so we parked the old one and didn't give it much thought. I personally thought it made a beautiful lawn ornament.

However, now we are selling our house and figured the new owners probably wouldn't like us throwing in a broken down car as a package deal, so we finally had to deal with it. We contemplated putting a sign in the window that said "Steal Me" but in the end decided we'd see what we could get for it at Carmax. We picked a place like Carmax specifically because we didn't want to worry about all the steps involved in getting it legal and selling it to a private party.

After being dormant for a year, we got it running quite easily by just charging up the battery again. We got a day's worth of insurance put on it and illegally drove it with its outdated tags and registration 10 minutes away to Carmax. We were quite paranoid, so we enlisted Nick's younger brother to drive in front of the car, to have Nick drive the old car, and to have me follow closely behind in our new car. It worked like a dream and the dumb old car arrived at Carmax without breaking down or getting pulled over.

I thought the worst part of the whole process was behind us, but apparently Carmax won't buy an illegal car. Who knew.

They had already told us that the car would be sold at auction for parts so replacing the windshield wouldn't help our case. That was great news to our cheap and lazy ears. However, now we were required to pass an inspection and go to the DMV for new plates and up-to-date registration paperwork. We knew we wouldn't pass the inspection without a fixed windshield and didn't want to replace it because it wouldn't give us a higher appraisal. It was quite the Catch-22.

In the end, a friend of a friend of a friend who works at an auto shop listened to our case and offered to help us out with the inspection. The only problem was that we had to be ridin' dirty again to get it illegally from the Carmax parking lot to the inspection station another 15 minutes away. I was so paranoid following behind Nick that every single car that came up behind me I assumed was a cop, ready to arrest us for our scandalous ways. Obviously, I would make a terrible criminal. I actually played out the various scenarios of how we might get busted in my head and daydreamed about the freedom I would have with the TV remote while Nick was spending the night in the slammer.

I should also mention that the car required a jump in the Carmax parking lot before we left for the inspection place, then another jump at the inspection place to get it in the door. Later after we had spent plenty of time at the ever-fabulous DMV and paid our money for brand new tags, it needed to be jumped again at the inspection place so that we could drive it back to Carmax, and for good measure, jumped one more time after we had to turn it off to get gas. Definitely not a good sign.

We arrived at Carmax, legal as could be the second time around, but unable to turn the car off for fear it wouldn't start again when they had to test drive it. It worked like a charm. (Don't worry, we DID explain that the battery was pretty much dead, so we weren't being shady.) We got our offer and left in our normal, RUNNING car to go eat lunch during the hour it took them to fill out our paperwork. We were a little early returning back to Carmax to sign the papers, so instead of sitting inside the waiting room, we stayed in the car with the windows rolled down, chatting and listening to our iPod.

And then we hear it. The notorious sound of a car starter just clicking and clicking. We turned around to see who the culprit was, not that it was much of a surprise, really. There was our poor old car, once again needing another jump, but at least this time it wasn't our problem. Enjoy our pile of crap, chumps!


Anonymous RA said...

We donated our car when it finally died, because we weren't going to get more than $100 for it, even if we could somehow drag it to the dealership. The donation people towed it away and everything, and we got a tax write-off, so it was super-easy.

Blogger L Sass said...

What a crazy ordeal!! I'm glad that the police force in KC had better things to do that lock up a couple of nice bloggers!

Blogger Vanessa said...

Here's to moving on to bigger and better things!

Anonymous Colleen said...

Yikes! Glad you're done dealing with that!

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