Latest addiction
I have a little confession to make. This will probably come as no surprise to you if you read the post where I admitted to spending my Saturday night home alone, obsessively filling out a Sudoku book with a hand-whittled pencil, or the time I confessed to putting a jigsaw puzzle together while simultaneously watching the spelling bee on TV.

I think I could probably pull out about ten or more other examples, but you catch my drift. I don't exactly have the highest of standards when it comes to personal entertainment selections.

I'll stop stalling now and move onto the particular confession at hand: Nick and I are now fully addicted to COPS.

There was some sort of marathon on last night, and we were glued to the TV. We popped popcorn and everything, calling out "Code 4!" where necessary and trying to pick up as many other terms and codes and violation-lingo as our civilian brains could handle. We yelled at the TV when we felt they should be pulling out their Tazers, and pleaded with them not to dumb down their commentary and just give it to us straight. After all, we're not novices at this and can handle the police speak.

I'm pretty sure that the only thing that could have made our viewing better would be if we had invested in some walkie talkies. Then one of us could watch it in the living room, and the other one could watch downstairs in the basement living room. We could get on our walkie talkies to discuss the violations and call for backup.

Anyway, out of all the episodes we watched last night, I think our favorite one was a police chase that involved a motorcycle. First off, they show this police officer talking about the sandwich he packed for lunch that day. He even has the sandwich all unwrapped and sitting up on his dash, waiting to be eaten. Then all of a sudden he starts a chase after this biker with his uneaten sandwich just hanging out on the dash. The motorcycle guy took off on a dirt road, with the police cruiser following close behind, and popped up onto some train tracks to get away. The officer chases after him and immediately gets stuck on the tracks, gets some flat tires and is unable to move his car. And then the train horns sound and the suspense builds as a train heads straight for his car.

You better believe that Nick and I yelled at him to save his sandwich. No sandwiches left behind is our firm policy. The officer is standing on the tracks waving at the train (you know, if the train doesn't see an entire cop car on the tracks with lights flashing, then I don't think arms are going to make much difference). All of this precious hand-flailing time could have been much better utilized by feeding himself a sandwich. At the last minute, the train ends up on an adjoining set of tracks, and the car, the officer and the sandwich are all safe. This close call plays out one more time with a second train heading straight for the car, endangering the sandwich and the officer because the officer is once again standing in the middle of the tracks flailing his arms. The second train also moves to the adjoining tracks and ensures a happy ending.

The COPS producers show a tow truck arriving and pulling the car off of the tracks, but not once do they let us know the sandwich is safe, nor do they show the officer enjoying it. And we’ll just never know I guess, which certainly left us frustrated. We were also quite upset that we never learned what code to call out for a sandwich in danger either.

These COPS shows were half-hour episodes, and at the end of each episode Nick and I looked at each other and at the clock on the wall, completely baffled that 30 minutes could be over so quickly. Each time we felt like the episode just started. But like I said, it was a marathon, so we had PC (probable cause) to believe we would be in for enough exciting COPS action to last us all night, or until we went to bed at around 22:00 hours. And we were right.



Blogger Lisa said...

Oh my gosh, You are too funny.

Do you ever watch Reno 911. Methinks you'd love. That show cracks me up.

Blogger velocibadgergirl said...

Dude, I had a deep and abiding love for COPS in high school. I used to watch the late-night reruns in my bedroom every night!

Blogger L Sass said...

Yes. COPS is awesome. The best part for me is that they frequently film in the city where I went to college. Trashtastic!

Blogger Abbie said...

LOL- I don't like COPS but this post is hilarious.

Crazy Stalker Lady again. HI!

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