Last night when I got home from work and from running errands, I was ready to change into pajamas and fall into the couch. I bought myself a magazine at the grocery store, had a long list of TiVo items to catch up on and knew there was leftover cheesecake from Nick's birthday in the refrigerator. It was the perfect night.

I took a quick detour to the fridge to check on the status of the cheesecake, and when I stepped foot into the kitchen I was greeted by gross little ants everywhere. I don't know, there were probably at least a hundred of them. I have no idea when they arrived since I probably haven't so much as glanced in the general direction of the kitchen for the last few days. But they were there in full force last night, and I knew something had to be done.

I scoured the whole house for some ant spray, looking high and low in every cabinet we own. I thought about spraying them with Clorox Clean-Up and Febreze, but the last thing I needed was for the ants to disperse all over the house, very much still alive and well, all disenfected and smelling like meadows and rain.

I was quite frustrated with the situation, especially because I had to take my pajama-clad butt back to the store to buy a can of ant spray when what I really wanted to do was eat half of a cheesecake and watch Oprah.

When I got to the grocery store, I valiantly took my can of death spray up to the checkout to pay and was lucky enough to have the very same bagger that I had the first time I was there about 30 minutes prior.

Teenage Bagboy: Ants, huh?

A: Yes, isn't it just the grossest thing?

TB: Do you ever wake up when you are sleeping, thinking they are crawling all over your face?

A: Can't say that I have ever had that problem, but I'm sure I will tonight. Thanks for that.

I went back home and practically fumigated the house before I had the pleasure of wiping up dead ant carcasses from the baseboards and windowsills in the kitchen and entryway. By the time I was done with everything, I wasn't even in the mood for cheesecake, which is saying quite a lot, I think. And then to top the night off, I got to go to bed with crawly little ant dreams on my mind, thanks to Teenage Bagboy.

From now on those ants better stay away from my house, because if they so much as even step one of their tiny little hair-like feet inside, I will make sure that they regret they were ever born. Whew, I feel better now.


Anonymous Colleen said...

Ick! Ants, invasive little things. Glad you were able to get rid of them - I hope they stay away!

Anonymous alyndabear said...

Seriously - where do they come from? Evil little buggers... we get them pop up here every couple of years, it's like a ritual or something.

Ant-rid! They all run to it in their little line, and there is a puddle of the wee things the next morning. Blech!

We have a major ant problem, which I don't really think is fair since we don't HAVE A YARD. But every year, the ants come marching in (so to speak) and we actually have to have an exterminator come because the suckers out here aren't afraid of Raid.

In a pinch, Clorox cleanup works very well. If they come back, get a can of the "outdoor" antspray and spray all around the border of your house

Blogger heidikins said...

Shudder... that's just icky. I can handle the "big" bugs, but the little creepy-crawly ones give me the willies.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

GROSS! Sorry about the infestation. I think your Teenage Bagboy has some...issues.

UM Have you received your Big Awesome 2nd Place Prize yet? Huh? Huh?

Blogger Isabel said...

I hate the ants.

And now I will wake up thinking about them. Thanks.

Blogger Trish Ryan said...

Ewww...so sorry to hear about that. Your story inspired my blog post today, though, so I thank you for offering your suffering for my creative process :)

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