Little corner

Little corner

I've been noticing lately that several bloggers are going on hiatuses (hiatusi?) or are considering a hiatus. There are others, experiencing a lack of energy and free time, questioning why they are blogging in the first place. My thoughtful and educated response (because of course that is me, thoughtful AND educated) was to take a nice, friendly look inward, and wonder what exactly my reasons for blogging may be.

Although I'm still in my infantile years when it comes to the lifespan of my blog (and to be fair, also when it comes to my sense of humor), I already experience the lack of topics and the frustrations of writer's block. Seriously, YOU try spending all your free time huddled up on the couch in pajamas and then look for some little interesting nugget to write about. I try to use my better judgment and not tell you about the color of my sweatpants (my favorite ones are green) or what item I happen to be snacking on that night (most likely, pretzels with a Diet Coke with Lime). Oh sorry, it slipped.

Subject matter aside, it's still difficult sometimes to take the time to write up a post when I'd much rather be doing something else with my time, or my favorite, doing absolutely nothing with my time.

But even so, there's something deep inside of me that I think is probably encoded into my genetics that I can't suppress, and that's my love of Starbucks. And also the constant need to create.

My job at work is to create, and that's fabulous, but not enough. To be quite honest, I'm not sure anything will ever be "enough." But everything is something, and each time I click publish, I feed my addiction ever-so-slightly. Alternately, each time I click publish, I'm already asking myself why that particular post wasn't more thoughtful or more entertaining, or why that particular design wasn't more beautiful or more fresh or more original. But that's a vicious cycle that I won't depress you with here.

There's another epiphany-ish reason for blogging that I will enlighten you with. A year or so ago, a client we had was kind enough to send everyone who worked on the account to a team-building exercise. Cue the eye-rolling. But really, as skeptical as I was, it turned out to be incredibly beneficial to understanding myself and my co-workers. We took these in-depth online personality tests weeks before the exercise took place. When we showed up, we were given thick reports of our results and discovered what the findings really meant through a series of lessons and activities, which did induce a little bit of eye-rolling I'm sure. However, I read through my report cover to cover, and it's eerie how spot-on it was. I still have my report. I treasure my report.

Anyway, I learned that there are several different personality characteristics. Among other things, I'm introverted, which was nothing I didn't already know. What I did take away from this activity was a definition of introversion that I like. They said introverted people process information and rationalize it completely to themselves within their own heads. Extroverted people tend to process information and rationalize it while speaking, or out loud.

I think blogging allows me to connect with other people, to meet new friends and have conversations, while actually being a complete introvert. (I'm an extrovert poseur, if you will.) I'm able to process everything I want to say, by thinking it through in my head or by writing it out first, before I lay it all out on the table for you to read. When I'm in a regular in-person social situation, I worry about what I'm going to say or how it's going to come out. I try to think ahead of what I want to communicate, but I'm so busy thinking about it that I tune out the conversation at hand. I'm sure we've all done the polite nod and smile when someone has actually asked you a question. Talk about embarrassing. But I just don't know how to express myself very well when I'm on the spot. I mean, I'm not a complete social defect, but I sound much better, more like how I really think, when I have the time to process things in my head first. (I'm NOT a complete social defect, right?)

So in summary (for those of you taking notes), blogging not only provides me with this open outlet to feed my creative dependencies, but also allows me to meet all of you, to show my true colors, and to express myself in a way that I just can't in person. And that is why I've made my home in this little corner of the blogosphere. You're in luck. I plan to kick off my stylish shoes and stay awhile.